China Town

Back in Greece, working at a Chinese Restaurant (yeah i know.. wtf)...
All of the tourists are pretty much scandinavian and i have compiled a list of facts and observations just for you:

1. Scand women cannot walk in heels.. even wedges.. it just looks.. tranvestite-ish.. ew
2. Never, EVER sniff tablecloths at chinese restaurants. no matter how compeled you are to do so!
3. Ive made friends with gay norwegian bikers who only ride harleys
4. I work across from leonidas (hes a waiter at an upscale resto opposite china palace)
5. it takes a lot to get scands to smile
6. I got searched by the cops and almost went to jail cus i didnt have an id on me, but luckily they didnt ask me for it so i escaped..
7. my little brothers favorite animal is a chicken. (he is 3.5 yrs old)
8. ive eaten maybe 30 fortune cookies and they seem to be very certain that i will make good friends at the next party i go to.

so friends, this is all for now. boyfie is good, i saw my ex randomly.. he looked like a deer in headlights... lame
its still too cold to wear shorts or jumpers which i am frustrated about.
i need a bikini
and
i am extra tired sooo good resting friends

Useless

Useless things:
1. Pagers
2. Paper grocery bags
3. Plastic knives
4. Shutter Glasses. As modeled by Kanye West
5. Kanye West, as modeled by Kanye West
6. Celery
7. Angry blogging.. my last post is jokes
8. tweens
9. MINI FRIDGES (DONT WORK)
10. kitchen sponges (its like washing your plates with poop)
11. nail polish bottle shapes.. (you will never get that last bit of polish out the bottom)
12. fingerless gloves!
13. plastic spatulas (they MELT.... USELESSSSS!!)
14. nipple stickers
15. finger puppets
16. Sticky Tack.. doesnt stick. GAY
17. this list
18. Goldfish. completely disloyal, AND UNPETABLE
19. the silicon packages in your purses and shoes. Theyre there.. waiting for you to eat them.
20. BODY JEWELS.. not pretty
21. hair mascara


freezer burnt pizza pockets.. are NOT useless to my surprise.. kindof like a pizza Popsicle :)


umm im too tired to think of more and not as creative as i would like to be.

Any suggestions? lol

Ice

Betrayal: Life's Sucker Punch- Intelligence, its bag of ice.
So.. go ahead and punch me as much as you want, cus i got a DAMN BIG bag of ice, and I aint gunna get bruised.

Ive said it before, there's no such thing as friends, just family

If you dont think the words best friend and brother are synonyms, you are in for a rude awakening.

not now, not tomorrow. But maybe the next day.
I am filled with such anger and yet such peace.
Ignorance is no bliss but a blindfold sure helps.

I am starting to make apologies, make amends

Something so small broke the straw, i am filled with a nausea that reflects my own inner mom.
"I told you so"
"I told you so"
"I told you so"

Megaphone

I

WANT

TO

BE

EXTRA

LOUD

RIGHT NOW!

Studying is getting the best of me.
all i can think of is sex and food.

Both are so close.. YET SO FAR :(

Grapples & Sex

Did you know they make Apples that taste like Grapes?

I saw them at the grocery store (They sell them at Metro, if you're curious), about a week ago.
I can't stop thinking about them.. so many questions come to my mind like

1. do they taste like Children Tylenol, or real grapes?

2. why would you be tempted to by an apple that tastes like a grape, when you can buy grapes that taste like grapes

3. Has anyone ever bought these?

4. Who is bored enough with their life to have to surprise themselves with grapples?

"I am craving an apple... oh, well look at that. it tastes like a grape. I think I'll become an astronaut. "

5. Does anyone else find interproduce relations gross?

Apples should not be having sex with grapes
and we should not be eating their mutant love child.
And what is making love?

my boyfriend said we dont make love, we have sex.
Well why the Fuck not?
I made him cry about it though.

i win. again.

Jackson Pollock

This might seem critical and judgmental.
But not every paint splatter is a work of art, right?

I'm an awkward painting.
I need to point out the bad so i can evolve from a paint-splatter.

into
something more legible.
I don't like Picassos.

BAD
1. Love Handles
2. Thin Hair. Boring.
3. inner thighs
4. Strange tan
5. Mean
6. Impatient
7. Lazy
8. Unemployed
9. Butt?
10. Perkier boobies please
11. Not a Ballerina
12. Not flexible enough.. yet
13. Selfish
14. Grumpy
15. Picky
16. Unmotivated
17. Weak
18. Too Proud
19. Too sensitive
20. Shy
21. Ugly Sneeze
22. Whiter Teeth
23. Always in the Background.
24. Educational Achievements wane

well now.
Harsh? Maybe.
But I have something to do
for the next 60/70 years,

while you sit around a knit.

Tiny Babies

I was looking for a job.
Mom drives me to high school, there is a nursery home next door.
My friends and I go inside, we find a room with tiny babies on display.
They are about the size of cabbage patch dolls, we think they are extra cute.

We hear a door opening and we know we are not supposed to be there.
My friends run to another room. I am stuck in the room with the tiny babies.
An old woman with white hair, sweet looking comes into the room and scolds me for being there.
She says people are not allowed in there because they can contaminate the air and asks me why i broke in.
I tell her not to worry, that I have siblings too and they are babies and I know how to take care of them.
She is still upset that I broke in, she makes me do volunteer work so she doesnt call the cops.

I feel trapped, I am missing my classes but I do not want my mother to find out that I was sneaking around into other people's houses so I just help her with her chores

I get excited because i have found a job, but then realize its not a real job, but maybe it will be good for experience

Zombies

Sometimes I honestly don't know what sort of information my brain can filter while I'm awake to produce such messed up imagery when I'm asleep.

Zombies.. really? I'm 18
they weren't scary.. they were just... there. doing zombie things

Maybe I will be posting more shortly.
The next one i remember most likely
stay tuned

im sick, its awfull.

i went to greece for winter break, had the best 3 weeks of my life.
i fell in love, but really fell in love

flirting isnt a sin, its just the only thing i have left
but other than that.
i love him
i want to be his
and no one elses. ever

Mommy, Look What I Made

while i should have been studying for my Psychology final...
i decided that dabbling in fashion design would better suit my mood, and proceeded to make this.

do you like it?

I only tolerate Carry-ons... no BAGGAGE thanks.

so ive had my eye on a hottie since september.. hes gorgeous.

Obviously i got what i wanted.. dont get me wrong, im still in love, but this ones just so cute..

i had to have it, ok?

I realized, that i dont have to compromise for anything. I am on top of the world, and i can have anything i want and ill work hard for the things that i cant have, until i get them.

Sacrifices are for people who quit smoking and puke after drinking too much.

Do i sound like a quitter?

.. well, i just wasted an hour of my life talking to my new prize about how in love he still is with his ex girlfriend and stuff.. granted.. im still in love with my CURRENT boyfriend.. had to pretend to convince him that he shouldnt give up and bullshit like that.

really... i hope she gets analed and fed her own shit and he pukes on her. :)

let me put it this way, i DONT share my toys, never have, never will.

im so put off... what a waste of my time, not to mention whenever i try to play with him again, all ill remember is that hes second hand... and belong to some other girl who tossed him.

gross, i dont do used

Choose your poison

The summer was a big deal.

When you look for nothing, something always comes around... well, someone did come around.

His name is Anthony, but more greek.. which would make it Adonis.

He lives in Greece, but we're still together.

Anyways, to keep it all in point form i met a boy, i like him a lot, long disstance sucks.

University started about three weeks ago, Mr Frosh and Mr. O week have both given my liver a slick beating. I promote for a club in the middle of nowhere, but hey, at least im not at Cornell in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of unfun studious psychos.

I mean, I'm a good student, but i have time to have a life.

Well said, Doll: Barefoot - the only way to party

With a rocky start at Time supperclub despite our reservations for bottle service and supper, followed by an hour drive around montreal looking for a decent restaurant on Saturday night for 7 people without reservations, i can't say i had much faith in the evening.

We ended up at Holder's, a quaint yet overpriced restaurant (whose interior decorator must have been quite artistically confused or francophone.. either way).

I ordered lobster ravioli in a white wine and truffle sauce, it was delicious but not quite filling considering they brought me 6 raviolis. I finished off my friend's salmon tartar which eased the grumbling stomach and washed it all down with a white russian, a gin tonic and a bottle of mediocre italian wine.

Later that evening, we headed to the main. Hit up Space.. it was naturally empty.. except for what appeared to be a gaggle of french kids- definately from the farm lands (you could tell by the teeth).

We were the hottest ones there, a group of 8 girls, none of us ugly... its safe to say we brought the party, in fact, they let us use the VIP bed/couches with the purchase of nothing but the smallest bottle we could buy.

(usually, its rumoured you need to drop at least 1500 to get access) but hey.. no one else was there to take it.

I'm sorry, did you want that last bite of caviar?

Well too bad. Cus i ate it.

This month has been a pleasent array of parties and shopping and champagne, i have to say i'm blessed.

I bought a pair of Dries Van Noten all white flats that perfectly matched my cocktail dress. (at about a 6th of their original price)

I had a picnik of mini tarts and cakes from a pricey pastry shop, at which i quenched my thirst with a bottle of expensive fermented champagne.

Did i mention it was raining?

I've spent god knows what on saturday nights, and with my not very secret surprise party this weekend my mother's credit card had practically melted.

Well, it's off to Greece with me this upcoming month.

If i like you, you'll see me again breifly in August.

But it will only be a glimpse. I promise.

Why Yes, I am a foreign Princess

The month of May has rolled around and i am currently in jeopardy of failing art.

No that i'm bad at drawing or painting, cus im not. 

It's because my art teacher is a bitter fuck and is angry that my parents can afford to send me to the school i go to.

Other than that.

I like a boy, the same boy but a different one.

Not the asshole best friend. The real best friend.

I have approximately 18 days to make that happen.

Good thing i have 2 occasions to get intoxicated and lunge for the kill. rawr.

to be honest i dont really know if i want to. 

i wish i was less complicated. fuck my life. 

sometimes, i feel as though life would be easier if i looked like a supermodel with DD appendixes affixed to my chest.

but you know, thats just an impression i get

Balls and Bruises

After attending my first 4 day rugby tournament, im proud to say i am alive, concussionless and havent bled yet.

my knee feels like a chew toy and im limping, ive turned a lovely shade of green and blue and yellow and purple and pink, i have bruising on my legs (one bruise i've named Ernie spans from above my ankle all the way to my lower thigh). Other than ernie, here is my count:

ear: 1 bruise (whole ear)
neck: 1 bruise (right side, looks like a squid hickey)
chest: 3 bruises (on my left breast)
right shoulder: 1 bruise (small)
left shoulder: 2 bruises (small)
right arm: 2 bruises (one is HUGE, one is smaller)
left arm: 2 bruises (small)
right thigh: 1 bruise (medium)
left thigh: 1 bruise (same thing)
bum: 3 bruises (medium)
right leg: 10 bruises (all very big and very purple)
left leg: Ernie

total: 27 + Ernie = Goodbye sundress

team bonding was fun
i made up my mind about whom i like/disslike
i have a crush. so unatainable.. but i can dream
i had an abercrombie binge
annd, thats it for now.

my april followup list i hope will be more exciting than march's

I'll be more subtle

There's always that one guy who screws you up so bad you could have sworn you were in love with him?



he could be your best friend
or
your lover
or
your family
or
your smile
but he's always
your problem




and you've given him so much all you want back is respect

all you want back is for it to be how it was in the beginning.



all you want is him to love you like he used to





and all he gives you is



"don't you find it messed up how you ask so much of me as a friend"

if you cant handle being my friend, dont try to kiss me, you're the one overwhelming yourself.





jerk.

Snitches Get Stitches

I almost got into a street fight today, walking up Monkland from LCC after Rugby Practice with my friend A.

A and I were wearing our rugby shorts..
tight, white, and SHORT, with tube socks and jackets.
Kindof like aggressive cheerleaders.

Kids from Centennial high walk by and start pointing and laughing. (obviously the girls were jealz)

so i turn around and im like "really? you fkn kidding me? you really laughing at me baby?"
and they just keep laughing, so i blow them a kiss and they proceed to stick up their middle finger at me, at which point i stick my tongue between my index and middle fingers and make moaning noises at them, the girls got sketched out and stopped laughing and the guys started waving and trying to get our numbers.

Ah... how great it is to have a superior intelligence

The Mornings After

Ever smiled at someone you didn't know?

I do, sometimes. Sometimes i give dirty looks too.
Eitherway I don't know who reads this, and if anyone really ever does.
But if you do, reach out, smile or frown i don't mind, let me know you're there.

March and April

I got accepted into university
I ruined a friendship by means of human impulse and loneliness
I slacked
I lied
I schemed
I talked shit
I drank
I concussed someone in rugby
I was lonely
I partied really hard
I hooked up
I lost a percentage of my hearing permanently
I was on medication
I gained weight

so there we go. We'll see what i can add to the list later on