Megaphone

I

WANT

TO

BE

EXTRA

LOUD

RIGHT NOW!

Studying is getting the best of me.
all i can think of is sex and food.

Both are so close.. YET SO FAR :(

Grapples & Sex

Did you know they make Apples that taste like Grapes?

I saw them at the grocery store (They sell them at Metro, if you're curious), about a week ago.
I can't stop thinking about them.. so many questions come to my mind like

1. do they taste like Children Tylenol, or real grapes?

2. why would you be tempted to by an apple that tastes like a grape, when you can buy grapes that taste like grapes

3. Has anyone ever bought these?

4. Who is bored enough with their life to have to surprise themselves with grapples?

"I am craving an apple... oh, well look at that. it tastes like a grape. I think I'll become an astronaut. "

5. Does anyone else find interproduce relations gross?

Apples should not be having sex with grapes
and we should not be eating their mutant love child.
And what is making love?

my boyfriend said we dont make love, we have sex.
Well why the Fuck not?
I made him cry about it though.

i win. again.

Jackson Pollock

This might seem critical and judgmental.
But not every paint splatter is a work of art, right?

I'm an awkward painting.
I need to point out the bad so i can evolve from a paint-splatter.

into
something more legible.
I don't like Picassos.

BAD
1. Love Handles
2. Thin Hair. Boring.
3. inner thighs
4. Strange tan
5. Mean
6. Impatient
7. Lazy
8. Unemployed
9. Butt?
10. Perkier boobies please
11. Not a Ballerina
12. Not flexible enough.. yet
13. Selfish
14. Grumpy
15. Picky
16. Unmotivated
17. Weak
18. Too Proud
19. Too sensitive
20. Shy
21. Ugly Sneeze
22. Whiter Teeth
23. Always in the Background.
24. Educational Achievements wane

well now.
Harsh? Maybe.
But I have something to do
for the next 60/70 years,

while you sit around a knit.